There is hope

The last time I was here, I was really stuck, I managed to unstuck myself and right now am on the third semester. The way my hours are organized, I still have a few more semesters left. In short, I have about 26 hours left.  If you look at it like that, it looks like a lot but it is not. Trust me. I have been through worse, ok, so not that bad, but at the time, it was. 

During yesterday's class, it’s on Media Relations and Crisis Communication, the lecturer was asking us what we are doing to build our profile. I mentioned I have a blog then I was taken aback that I do not visit it as often as I should. He also mentioned that one needs to do more with one's time. For example, write a book, edit copy or have articles published in the newspapers on whichever topic such as El Nino. By the way (btw), are the rains really coming? Or is no rain (drought like) still a sign or effect of El Nino? In my search, I saw this report by the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations that explains this. 

I am constantly asked, when is the graduation? People! Chill! Imagine I still don't have that IT topic or problem to work on. I got ideas for worthy ones, I have given myself a deadline to actualize on one. I cannot be in school for too long. I need to LIVE. More like not be in constant wars with my finances. Especially when I want that handbag or shoe or holiday then I remember I cannot be going around buying myself stuff and I need to finish this two-year journey. Dear Lord, please hear my prayer. In two years’ time since I began can I be done. Amen.   

I sort of have that panic attack in my mind when I hear my fellow class/sch mates saying, "Imagine am on chapter 3." "My proposal got accepted" I could go on but I may end up having that panic attack I talked about when I remember my predicament. There is hope for you so quit panicking, as it is not worth your time. My friend and I always tell ourselves that we are each on our journeys and beating ourselves up is a waste of time. Instead, we should focus our energies on what makes up happy. It is easier said than done sometimes. We are better than we were a few months ago.

I sometimes re-look at the projects I have gotten back and smile or laugh. The lecturers will put in a nice comment or a suggestion on how to better one's work and other times a sarcastic funny one such as "Were you short of books?" hehe.  There is a good elaborate reason for me being at this stage even though I cannot see or feel it now but I know it will be worth it. 

I am stuck

What did I get myself into? Gave into the pressure from myself and those around to go back to school. It seemed easy, filling forms, registering myself into the school, meeting new people and making friends. 

But since classes began, I feel like I do not know what I am doing. At the beginning, week 1 to 3. I almost packed up my bag and left to never look back but talked myself out of such a rush decision. Am required to write papers, with research in mind but I do not even have a topic to begin with. 

Gosh! who goes to school and not know what is expected of them. I do know, but I cannot seem to articulate my points or ideas to the lecturer clearly. Did my mind just forget how to be a student or what is happening? I am stuck and packing my bags and leaving is out of the question. 

Perhaps, its time I paid one of my lecturer's a visit for assistance because alone, with lots of books in front of my eyes is not working both for me and my assignments. I got back one of the papers and its funny how I had so much confidence when sending it but now my tail, I don't actually have one, is between my legs. 

What was I thinking? This isn't easy at all. My peers seem to have it all together but am not. Stuck is more like it. 

I took a break to talk to two of my new found friends. It is reassuring to talk to people who can understand what your going through. 

One of them had some really wise words. "Take one assignment at a time, one project at a time. Ensure you are succeeding in the small milestones. If you look at the big picture you will be in constant DISSONANCE. And trust me when I say your classmates don't have it together, we are all in the same boat. The first semester is the hardest. Take it one day at a time." 

Right now am sort of looking at my screen and thinking its never that serious. In this case it is serious, but I need to relax and re look at it all one step at a time, one assignment at a time, one project at a time.